Hungry Wolves
Recently a teacher of mine shared an old Cherokee story. In the legend, an elder Cherokee speaks with his grandson about the fight going on inside of him between two hungry wolves. One wolf is angry, mean, jealous, arrogant, resentful, hateful, impatient, defensive, self-pitying, and cruel. The other wolf is loving and generous, peaceful, compassionate, joyful, kind, humble, gentle, hopeful, benevolent, forgiving, and trusting. He shares that all human beings have the same battle going on inside of them. After a brief pause the young boy asks his grandfather, which wolf wins? He answers the boy simply…the one you feed.
I find this to be such a powerful and true story. In our heads there are many voices representing the appetites of each wolf. Even if we know the one we want to feed is the loving, compassionate wolf, sometimes we notice that instead we’ve been feeding a voice of nastiness and self-defeat, “see, you’re insatiable, you don’t deserve it, you don’t matter, you have no self-control, you can’t change, it’ll never be different, better give up!” Martha Beck is a life coach who refers to this voice as “the lizard”, in reference to our reptilian brain that knows only fear and responds to any perceived threat by fight or flight. The language of the lizard is simply “lack and attack”. Lizards, wolves…what’s with the wild life?!
Maybe it's about change and change is a wild endeavor! When we approach making changes in our lives, in diet or otherwise, we may feel scared of what we imagine those changes may bring and our inner lizards can get nasty! We may have eaten mindfully all week, then turn mean on ourselves when we drink an extra glass of wine! We’ve stopped eating refined sugar, but the scale hasn’t budged and we’re furious! We get to the gym, but when we eat an extra serving, the nasty translator pipes up discouraging us, “don’t risk failure; get out now!”
My coach Mimi has said numerous times, failure is an inherent part of success in any realm. Ultimate failure only happens when we quit playing the game, not when we miss a shot. Imagine how long an athlete would last if they fed the mean wolf every time they missed. Not long! I’m slowly getting it. Letting the hungry angry wolf win is the source of defeat. A setback doesn’t need to mean the end of the road. We can choose to let the missed shots and setbacks awaken our curiosity, compassion, and generosity, instead of our cruelty.
At times when the mean voice within my head gets strong, I like to take time out to connect with what really matters to me, to connect with what inspires me, what I care about, what I desire. Often I do this by writing. Doing this feeds the other wolf, the kind and loving one. I usually like to add something into my diet that inspires and supports me. Maybe it’s making time for my favorite dance class, or maybe it’s taking a night to stay at home and cook myself a nourishing meal. It is always easy to get myself to the gym and eat the way I feel my best once I’ve given air time to my loving translator. She always believes in me, because she is connected to what I want and what I’m passionate about. Her voice completely eclipses the fear so I can get on with living.
You want to lose weight, eat differently, transform you diet? Go for it! Start by checking in to see which wolf you're feeding. The next time your nasty wolf starts howling, what will you do to feed the other one?
