A Case of the "I Don't Wanna's"
“I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna!” Do you know that one? I bring it up because recently the “I don’t wanna’s” took over my brain! The need to write something for my blog this week especially seemed to awaken that sleeping dragon. Usually I find myself deeply troubled by this type of racket in my head. This time though I actually found it funny somehow; the utter stubbornness, the desperation of the plea. You know when a kid is making such a ridiculous, dramatic scene, it just turns funny! I literally burst into spontaneous laughter on the street earlier today as I witnessed my inner dialogue.
Me: Ok, Yiska you’ve got to write something.
Me: I don’t wanna!
Me: But it’s been really long.
Me: But I don’t wanna! I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna!
Sounding insane? Come on, I know you know it, especially in the battle with food and dieting. You think to yourself, I really need to exercise. It always makes me feel good…but I don’t wanna! You know you’ll feel a thousand times better if you cut back on sugar again…but I don’t wanna! Your body is begging you to stop eating cheese…but I don’t wanna!
I think the “I don’t wanna’s” tend to come out in full force especially in winter time. Sometimes they do bear the message; give yourself a break, kid! Other times it is simply the voice of resistance that has placed too much focus on what we DON’T wanna, and has forgotten how much we actually DO wanna! And that there’s lots of what we do want. For me, I really DO want to stay connected with this community and my work. The “I don’t wanna’s” drew attention away from that. As I brought my attention back into focus around my heart’s desire, writing this post actually became easy, inspired, and fun.
So, if you come down with a case of the “I don’t wanna’s” any time soon, or if you’re currently battling one, see if you can find the funny in it and laugh a bit. And bring your attention back to what you really DO want. I DO want to feel good in my body. Yoga is happening today! I DO want to feel the way it felt when I wasn’t eating so much sugar, no matter how many holiday parties, I WANT that sugar-free feeling! What better time, when the seeds are being planted for a new year, to re-connect with what you DO want. I also promise as soon as you take that one step toward what you do want, the “I don’t wanna’s” will go back to sleep and leave you alone. Ahh…Quiet again!
