On Being Grounded

But recently I had a great discussion with a yoga teacher of mine about the weight I gained over the past year. In our conversation, I became aware of how just ungrounded I’d been feeling and how much of a desire I had to find my way back to center. A year ago I entered a new relationship in which I found myself feeling less grounded than ever. Now don’t get me wrong, this relationship has been nourishing for me in countless ways, but now living with a man for the first time in my life, you can imagine how much has shifted. I’ve been asked to answer new questions about what I want and what’s even more unsettling, to dare to reveal those desires to another person in the interest of connection and intimacy. I’ve experienced waves of unprecedented emotions, ranging from the most profound love, fear, insecurity, jealousy, frustration, vulnerability, even joy I’ve ever known! And where did the earth beneath my feet go? Not sure, but only now can I draw the link that I was using food as an anchor, a quick fix to feel grounded.

In relationships, where any vulnerability is involved, predictability be-gone! Do I know how you will respond? Do I know what you will want? Do I know how I will feel? And I thought predictability was a requirement, that that’s what it took to be grounded. No wonder feeling grounded has so often eluded me in this ever changing life. I imagine for parents it must be an even greater challenge not to lose self and to maintain a connection to some steady, always accessible core when the unpredictable needs of a child are occurring. And what about navigating the workforce with the changing demands of employers and clients?

The holidays can be a time of year when we feel especially ungrounded. With all the holiday parties, special foods, vacation time, celebrations, and family visits, we may fly from one event to the next without taking the time to register ourselves. In being grounded there is a connectedness to what I feel and to what I want and need. There is a connectedness to what’s essential in a given moment. I used to think I needed to be in my routine, that circumstances dictated whether or not I felt grounded. Now I know that there are practices that can provide that experience within me, undetermined by situation or outside forces.

For me having a daily yoga practice, however long or brief, whether on a mat or on the ground, in a class or on my own, has been a priceless tool. I notice more things can come at me with the unpredictability that is most predictable of life and I don’t feel automatically thrown off balance. I can pause to find my answer before leaping and I can shift gears more smoothly. This has been a gift of yoga, especially through regular practice. I find daily journaling can have a similar effect, and for some, any form of meditation is their way. A daily check-in with a coach or friend can also be a grounding force as can be cooking, plus it has the added benefit of giving us control over what we eat. Root vegetables, like carrots, turnips, sweet potatoes, rutabagas have an energetically grounding effect since this is the where they grow. And finally I think the thing that has made a big difference for me has been avoiding refined sweets and heavy alcohol consumption. These substances have an energetically expansive effect in our bodies which only contributes to feeling spun out of control and center.

However you choose to create it, here’s to a happy, healthy, and grounded 2011! May we each find the practices that help us connect to a steady inner core within us that ground us inside, granting us access to our needs in every moment. And while our body grounds we can carry our spirit’s visions forward to create the best year we can imagine. Happy New Year everyone!