Screw It

“Screw it”, “hell with it”, “f**k” it” - if I hear myself saying any of the above I know it means trouble!  It is probable that if I am applying a naughty word to what I am about to do it likely means I am planning on sabotaging myself. 

“Screw it, I don’t care.”  “Screw it, it doesn’t matter.”  “Screw it, I’ll be good tomorrow.” What all this really means is I am having a mini-internal-tantrum about sticking to whatever it is I said I was going to do. But rather than saying, “Ohh this is challenging!”, I chicken-out and say “Never mind – I can’t do it.”  What is really being said here is – it doesn’t matter enough to withstand the moment(s) of discomfort that may be involved in sticking to my promise.  In these cases, I want out before it gets too hard. 

If I hear myself saying any of the above expletives during a decision making moment (to eat after dinner or not, to go to the gym or not, to have another drink or not, etc.) I know what is about to happen.  I am going to do just what I said I would not do and then I will feel defeated and ashamed and weak.  Humph.  Sounding familiar? 

Here is the beautiful part.  The ability to change a behavior, to make a different choice, happens not just on Monday mornings or “tomorrow”.  Each choice happens right now.  And I believe we give ourselves little clues as to when we are about make a choice that is out of alignment with what we want for ourselves.  For me it sounds like a worn-down sailor: “screw it”, for some it may sound like a whinny 3-year old: “I don’t want to!”.  In either case use this voice as a warning – it’s decision-making time!  Who do you want to be the decider the 3-year old or the person with integrity, and determination? 

It feels so good to do what you say you are going to do.  It feels even better when the sailor or 3-year old was asking for something else.  And this is how change happens.