Sometimes the Answer is No

I stopped “dieting” a while back.  It has been almost 5 years since I have uttered the words, “I am starting a new diet on Monday.”  My husband was so sick of hearing it, but that’s not why I quit dieting.  I quit because it was getting the best of me; it was never really a positive experience the process never went so good.  So I stopped.  And what that meant, is that for a while I stopped applying any rules or parameters to my eating.  I never said “no” to myself.  I ate what I wanted, when I wanted.  So, I gained about 15-20 pounds and that was that for a while.

At some point I had had enough unstructured eating to feel ready for some structure again.  And so now I no longer diet, now I implement “structures.”  I notice when something is not working or not feeling good and I change it.  Recently a structure I put in place is letting go of sugar (see previous posts re: 2 Week Sugar Challenge).  It had become clear to me that I was using sugar to fill other needs (like getting to relax or feeling like I was treating myself), and I wanted to change this dynamic with sugar. 

This business of implementing structure has meant saying “no” to myself sometimes.  It’s something I avoided for sometime, hearing “no” that is, and so I am getting to know it again.  I will often reframe the “no” and sometimes that helps.  For example, I get clear why I am saying no to something and then the no feels more like a yes (e.g. no to sugar means yes to more sustained energy in the afternoon or yes to moving closer to my goal of losing weight).

Sometimes the answer is simply “no”.  “No”, because I said I wouldn’t.  “No”, because I made a promise to myself.  I came home last night after seeing a movie and really, REALLY wanted some of the chocolate chip ice cream in our freezer.  Boy, did I want that!  I did some thinking.  I thought about why I am doing this Sugar Challenge in the first place and all the good things that have come out of not eating sugar.  I thought for a while about how to cheat and it not look like I cheated (I even thought it may make for a good blog post; I’d call it, “When we Slip Up”).  And then I just decided, no Sarah.  I made a commitment and so the answer is no.  It was hard, and then it wasn’t and I survived.  Better than that, I felt good when I went to bed and good when I woke up.  I kept my promise.